Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Cast. Away.

Having my cast removed this morning (!) felt better than any spa treatment I've ever had. Massages, facials, reflexology, hot stone massage, pedicures...none of them can hold a candle to how great it felt to wash my pale, skinny forearm in the sink of the cast room with warm water and foaming antibacterial soap. I was tempted to ask the cast guy if he could light an aromatherapy candle and give me a few moments to myself.

As he pitched my cast into the trashcan, the impressed cast guy exclaimed, "That's probably the cleanest cast I've ever seen!"

I bet he says that to all the girls, but I still gloated with pride.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

#2

So far, this has been my most favorite challenge on THE LIST. #2: Make a list of 101 things that make me happy. It's one of the first projects I started, back in March, and I inked the last entry just this morning.

I found this project equal parts self-indulgent and uplifting. I chose each entry carefully. Some were easy - probably the first 25 came in one sitting. But then they trickled in a few at a time, here and there as I went about living life. Sometimes months passed without a new entry and I began to wonder if I'd make it to 101.

But I did, and I've enjoyed looking at the list. I marvel at how my mood brightens after reading it. These are the things that make me smile, that speak to my soul, that make me tick.

Perhaps my favorite part about this list is that the 22-year-old me couldn't have done it.

1. my nephews
2. summer
3. naps
4. music
5. laughter
6. kids
7. tulips
8. a good book
9. good food
10. surprises
11. thinking about the future
12. the beach
13. finding a bargain
14. splurging on something I want
15. wine
16. cheese
17. new socks
18. cleaning house
19. my blog
20. fashion
21. giving gifts
22. watching college basketball
23. talking to teenagers
24. hot, hot showers
25. being alone
26. vanilla candles
27. apples
28. family gatherings
29. wrapping gifts
30. mailing funny cards
31. Girls Night Out
32. being on time
33. documentary films
34. carrying on traditions
35. my birthday
36. vacation
37. rain
38. Jeremy (awwwww....)
39. a clean car
40. learning
41. parallel parking
42. good hair days
43. flip flops
44. history
45. winter coats
46. clean sheets
47. the smell of honeysuckle
48. brunch
49. nachos
50. diet coke
51. weddings
52. packing a suitcase
53. fireworks
54. watching TV with Jordan Ashley
55. making lists
56. rocking babies to sleep
57. ice cream
58. trumpets
59. sweating
60. writing
61. routine
62. listening
63. the smell of freshly cut grass
64. red toe nail polish
65. rubber ducks
66. life-long friendships
67. thinking about my childhood
68. the sound of the ocean
69. George
70. beverages with bubbles
71. bendable straws
72. my mom's handwriting
73. blue sky with no clouds
74. clever song lyrics
75. road trips
76. window seats on planes
77. red shoes
78. sarcasm
79. winning
80. photos of bikes
81. the word "lunch"
82. the sound of rain on the window
83. the sound of champagne being opened
84. March Madness
85. arial font, 10 point
86. Christmas trees
87. sleeping late
88. the occasional good cry
89. having new ideas
90. reality TV
91. a good parking space
92. a full tank of gas
93. watermelon Hubba Bubba
94. french fries with ranch dressing
95. silence
96. book stores
97. a heartfelt hug
98. peanut butter
99. naked baby butts
100. stained glass windows
101. accomplishment

Friday, October 22, 2010

Chicken

The goal: Mark #11 off THE LIST: watch a scary movie in the theater. Let it be known that, besides #23 (Sing karaoke in public), #11 was the one I had most anxiety over. You see, I'm a chicken, through and through.

The plan: Go, with Jeremy, to the 5:10 showing of Paranormal Activity 2. Check out the trailer:



Did I mention that I'm a total chicken? Can you imagine me, in public, watching that movie? Yeah, me neither.

Jeremy and I were in the car, on the way to the movie, and I totally chickened out.

We ended up at happy hour instead of horror movie. Which is really fine with me.

In my book, happy beats horror any day.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

It smells oddly like rotten soap.

In this recent post, I presented a list of things I've discovered difficult to do with one arm.

I am now two weeks wiser, and present for your viewing pleasure the following:

Things That Are Difficult To Do With A Pink Cast:
1). Wear red.
2). Avoid gasps from children.
3). Wear orange.
4). Avoid annoying comments about how I really must like Breast Cancer Awareness month.
5). Wear pink (it's overkill).
6). Be taken seriously in meetings.
7). Appear intimidating and ferocious (the pink cast is the only thing standing in my way).

Also, this sucker is really starting to smell, and I've got two weeks left. My nostrils are burning.

That is all.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Pet Peeve Monday

Never, ever, no matter what, no matter how true it may be, never, ever greet a person by saying, "You look tired."

What purpose does it serve, exactly, to offer such a salutation? Is it an attempt to show concern or sympathy? Is meant as an insult? Do you think it ever makes the tired-looker feel better about their state of being? Allow me to assure you that it does not. Especially not on a Monday.

I was greeted this morning with a hearty "you look tired," to which I was so very tempted to reply (at the top of my lungs, no less), "YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM TIRED. THANKS FOR NOTICING. THANKS FOR CONFIRMING FOR ME THAT MY ATTEMPT TO WEAR A LITTLE EXTRA EYE MAKE-UP TO COMPENSATE FOR MY UNDER-EYE BAGS DID NOT, IN FACT, HELP. YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS IN THAT OUTFIT."

Toodles! I'm off to nap under my desk during lunch.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Replacement

When I set out to make THE LIST, I wanted all the tasks to be both inexpensive and legal. The latter criteria was the only reason that "Pull a fire alarm" didn't make the final cut.

You see, I've always, always, always wanted to pull a fire alarm. But I'm a rule follower at heart and value my freedom far too much to actually pull one. Even if firemen are really cute.

Please brace yourself for the following eye-witness video. I apologize for the shaky videoing. Blame the adrenaline.




Because I'm the boss of me and I make the rules around here, I've decided to make "Pull a fire alarm" the new #18 on the list. It officially replaces "Be a tourist in New York City."

It should be noted that I volunteered to pull the fire alarm outside my office for the preschool fire drill. Little children were terrorized, and I fulfilled a lifelong dream.

Simply amazing.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Pet Peeve Monday

In my more recent past, I have become acquainted with and occasionally dined with a person whose food ordering habits bear eerie resemblance to Sally's in the clip below:



Go ahead and watch that clip again. It gets more and more hysterical every time. From the way Harry jumps in and orders before Sally, to the waitress's reaction to Sally's order. Totally. Classic.

Also, totally Peevish when you're with someone in real life who orders that way. Am I right?

I thought so.

Friday, October 8, 2010

#15

The following things combined to help me complete #15 on THE LIST - Commit a random act of kindness:

- a last-minute, ultimately futile search for 12 pieces of poster board
- a hot July day
- me, driving an empty, blissfully quiet church bus
- a gas station
- a downtrodden soul (not my own, for once)
- a trip to the local hardware store
- a bottle of water

I feel that if I divulge too many details, it would cease to be a random act. So you'll just have to figure it out on your own.

How's that for kindness?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Well, isn't that special.

My arm matches my to-do list:

And it will for the next 4 weeks.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Now, my pride is also injured.

Two weeks ago, when I injured my wrist playing flag football (2 weeks ago), I smugly self-diagnosed myself as having a sprain. Allow myself to quote...myself:
"I have had more than my fair share of experience with sprained ankles, and this feels EXACTLY like that, only in a different and much more frustrating location."
At this time, I'd like to state for the record that I did not cry at the time of my injury.

Two weeks ago, I set about faithfully icing said wrist and taking healthy doses of ibuprofen. Two weeks ago, I endured all manner of disapproving looks from elderly ladies at church. One actually went so far as to say, "Now what's a pretty girl like you doing playing flag football?!?" I responded sweetly, "Winning."

Over the past two weeks, the swelling has subsided, the gnarly bruise has gone away, and my range of motion has improved. All was going well until about 4 days ago, when it seemed that the healing hit a brick wall. Things like shutting the car door or carrying groceries with my left hand were still very painful. Still. Two weeks later.

So today, 15 days after my injury, I went to the doctor. She poked and prodded before sending me for x-rays. As I was waiting for the verdict, I overheard some debate in the next room.
Doctor: "Transfer the films and make an appointment for tomorrow morning."
Nurse: "Is she a righty or a lefty?"
Doctor: "Not sure."
Nurse: (pokes head in my door) "Are you a righty or a lefty?"
Me: "A righty."
Nurse: "Good."
Me: (thinking to myself) "Not good."
Seconds pass. Doctor comes in the room and says "would you like to see your films?"
Me: "Yes. Or maybe not..."
Doctor: laughs uneasily
Doctor: (pointing with a pen to my x-rays) "See that squiggly line in your wrist bone?"
Me: "Yes."
Doctor: "Well, it shouldn't be there. Your wrist is fractured."

Well, then.

Tomorrow, I get a cast. Tomorrow, I have to choose the cast's color (big decision. huge.) Tomorrow, I get to hear a multitude of people say "I told you so."

Tonight, I get to listen to my subconscious, the one who's been nagging me to go to the doctor for the past two weeks, say "I told you so."

Monday, October 4, 2010

Pet Peeve Monday

To the untrained eye, it's simply a printer:

Over the past month, I have grown to have such disdain...nay...hate for this piece of "electronic equipment" that I have rage in my hands on this Monday. You'd think, with a name like "printer", said piece of "electronic equipment" would...well...ACTUALLY PRINT stuff.

WRONG, scoffs the "printer." See for yourself:

"Error - Printing." That's pretty much what I get a majority of the time. The "printer" doesn't print, it spits out an error message that won't clear unless I reboot my computer. Sometimes, just to REALLY get me Peeved, it will wait like 15 minutes before it begrudgingly agrees to print my document. I think it laughs at me when I leave the room.

I have slapped this "printer." I have unplugged it. I have tried cleaning the connections. I've tried begging, pleading, growling. Nothing works.

Apparently, this thing likes Mondays even less than I do.

And every other day of the week, for that matter.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Pausing, breathing, and deciding to live differently...

The notion of living simply is something that, until recently, has always escaped me. I’d hear reports on the news about a person who sold all their possessions on e-bay, or hear of friends and family members doing terribly frugal things, and all the while feel slightly bewildered.

If you’re the type of person who categorizes others, you could easily file me under the “yes, please!” approach to consumerism and consumption. New clothes? Yes, please. Dining out? Yes! Please! Vacations, gadgets, accessories, gifts for others, wasteful spending? Yes, please! Yes, please! Yes, please!

Somehow, I’ve managed to skate by with shockingly little debt. Looking back, I honestly don’t see how. Finances (and numbers, for that matter) have always intimidated me, ever since math class in elementary school. My solution, instead of learning and understanding money, was to ignore it and hold my breath, hoping everything worked out in the end. Spend, spend, spend – indulge, indulge, indulge – look at bank statements with one eye closed. Sigh with relief that my balance was “in the black” before heading to the airport to catch a flight to visit friends for a long weekend.

Everything from my bank account to my overflowing closet to my actual waistline screams “indulgence!”

It wasn’t until December 2009 that I created an excel spreadsheet called “bills record” on my desktop and began tracking how much I owe a month in bills. December 2009. Until then, I had virtually no idea where my money was going. The thought makes me cringe now.

Why the sudden change in heart? Enter July 2010 and the prospect of a new job - a prospect that brought with it excitement, hope, and if I wanted it badly enough, the necessity for a new lifestyle. I spent the better part of a month calculating, figuring, considering, computing, theorizing, and guessing what it would take for this opportunity to work. Without realizing it, I had been forced to face my fear head on. I had been forced to take a cold, hard, critical look at my lifestyle and the ways I wasted spent my money. The age old question of need vs. want kept coming to mind. And way more often than I care to admit, “want” was the resounding answer.

In response to all that analyzing in July, I’ve canceled my cable (gasp!), reduced my cell phone minutes, canceled my Netflix subscription, begun purchasing store brand groceries (double gasp!), and have stopped spending money on eating out. I declined the invitation to a lovely vacation in Florida. It pained me to do that – almost more than canceling cable – but I had no choice.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had more pity parties in the past month than I care to admit (in the grocery store, at the gas pump, after paying bills). But in other ways, I feel more liberated than ever. I’m finally in control.

The more frugal among you are probably reading this with a giant eye roll, and I deserve that 100%. The truth is, I’ve still got a long way to go. Jeremy still treats me to meals out. I can go to his house and watch TV. I’m still spoiled.

As these notions of “life, simplified” have started to crystallize for me over the past few weeks, I began doing some investigation about the trend. Last night, I happened upon mnmlist.com, a blog written by Leo Babauta who seems to be a hard core minimalist. I love the following excerpt:

“…there isn’t a requirement for minimalism. You can invent your own version, and if you’re more worried about how to survive until the next paycheck (I’ve been there), then cutting back on the unnecessary will help you get there. Look for unnecessary expenses (like eating out, going to the movies, buying junk food snacks, or renting DVDs) and eliminate them, finding ways to have fun that are free.

Eliminating unnecessary possessions also means you’ll need a smaller home, which will save on rent and heating/cooling. Buying fewer things means less debt. Spending time with loved ones or doing things you love means you spend less. All of these things are good whether you’re wealthy or not.

It’s true that the poor are often thought of as not having the luxury of even thinking about simplifying, or minimalism. They’re too worried about putting food on the table, or where the rent is coming from, or how to avoid creditors until the next paycheck. And there’s a lot of truth in that. But it doesn’t have to be true: anyone can pause, breathe, and decide to live differently.

Anyone can make the decision to do without the unnecessary, to cut off cable TV, to consider doing without a car, to only buy what’s absolutely necessary and to rethink what’s necessary.

Intentional omission is the foundation of minimalism: we leave things out because they are unnecessary, and retain only what we need or use or love…Omitting the unnecessary is a thing of pure beauty.”