Needless to say, Scott needed more than 2 chances

Ahem.

Well. That was fun, wasn't it? Last week, sort of accidentally, I went viral. Don't worry...I saw my doctor and she gave me a cootie shot, so I think we're all safe.

Thanks to a couple of "check this out" mentions on Facebook, 380 people visited this blog in 3 days to catch a glimpse of how strongly worded I can be when I get really peeved. Really strong. That's how worded I can be. So WATCH IT.

If you were a first time visitor last week, allow me to welcome you to Bits and Wiz. That is, if you decided to come back for another visit to the rodeo. I'd like to welcome both of you back. It's an honor.

And now, for an orientation of how things work around here. It really boils down to this. No offense, but here's the thing. I sort of...well...I literally...pretend you're not there. Sorry if that hurts your feelings, but it's true. If I think of something, and it makes me laugh, and I think there's a chance I might be able to write the laugh, I give it a whirl. All the while pretending that no one really reads it.

Otherwise, I start to feel the same way I felt in the 7th grade, that time that Ms. Bond (no relation to James) caught me passing a note in class. The note, written to my ex-boyfriend Scott, contained details about how I was willing to give him another chance (I've always been rather benevolent). I still remember how red my face got, how I started sweating, and how I begged Ms. Bond, aloud, not to read the letter.

Of course, she did. Thankfully, she read it silently, rolled her eyes, and exclaimed 'OH, PLEASE!' before handing the note back to me. I was mortified. So embarrassed. My life was O-V-E-R.

Ahem. Allow me to compose myself.

In order to keep that embarrassed 7th grader bottled up inside, where she CLEARLY belongs, it is necessary for me to pretend that you're not there.

But, unlike Ms. Bond and the note, I really do appreciate you reading my blog. I really do. Really.